Menopause brings a storm of contradictions for women, but how do their partners cope? This piece shares honest, anonymous insights from men navigating unpredictable moods, sleepless nights, and surprising cravings, transforming challenges into opportunities for deeper connection.
Menopause brings a tornado of contradictions, making women feel like strangers in their own bodies. One minute you’re shivering under a blanket, and the next, you’re peeling off layers as waves of heat rush through you like you’ve swallowed the sun. Emotions become just as unpredictable, tears may well up during a random television commercial, only to be followed by irritation at something as simple as the way someone chews.
It’s not just mood swings; it feels like your emotional thermostat is as broken as your physical one, leaving you cycling through feelings that don’t always match the moment.
Then come cravings that seem to come from another place. Your sensible, health-conscious mind suddenly demands ice cream at midnight or convinces you that a specific junk food will solve everything. Your body starts making requests you don’t remember approving.
This phase often makes women feel like they’re constantly adapting to a body and mind that keep changing the rules. The confusion isn’t just about symptoms — it’s about feeling untethered from the self you’ve known for decades, struggling to find solid ground.
Ever wondered how the men in our lives cope? We spoke to a few who are doing their best to support the women navigating menopause. Speaking anonymously, they shared their honest feelings.
“I’ve learned that the answer to pretty much everything she asks me is YES,” says Amit*. He recalls his mother was often found clinging to the window AC because of hot flashes. “As a boy, I had no idea what was happening, and it just seemed odd. Now, I understand what she was going through.”
Sleep becomes less of a rhythm and more of a negotiation. Exhausted yet wired, hot then cold, your mind racing over tomorrow’s tasks at 3 AM while your body feels like it’s running on a different system.
Nitin* shares, “I often wonder how my wife copes with so little sleep. Sometimes she’s awake at 3:30 AM and can’t fall back asleep. Other nights, when we go out for dinner, by 9 PM she’s already falling asleep at the table. At first, I didn’t understand it, but now I realize it’s the hormonal changes.”
He also shared a story that left me torn between laughing and feeling sorry for him. “One time, my wife said she wanted to eat something nice. I spent half an hour asking her what that meant, offering a dozen different options, but she turned down every one. She was so upset that she went to bed hungry. Then the next morning, all cheerful, she said she would have been happy with just curd rice and potato curry. Imagine my plight—there I was, offering fancy pasta, pizza, chole bhature, and more.”
While these stories bring laughter, for Manav, menopause has been a blessing in disguise. To give his wife some much-needed ‘me’ time, he has become more actively involved with their children. “I’ve started taking them to some of their classes and sitting with them while they do their schoolwork. It’s been wonderful for us – we’ve never bonded like this before. In a way, I’m grateful for this time together and happy to give my wife the chance to take breaks whenever she needs.”
There’s no doubt that menopause is a complex journey that brings physical, emotional, and relational changes not only for women but also for the men who stand beside them. Through patience, understanding, and active involvement, whether it’s managing sleepless nights, navigating unpredictable moods, or stepping up to share family responsibilities, partners can transform this challenging phase into an opportunity for deeper connection and mutual support.
*All names have been changed to retain anonymity.
