Turning forty can be a liberating experience. This reflection explores the journey of self-discovery and empowerment that often accompanies this milestone. The author shares how they’ve embraced their own desires, shed societal expectations, and learned to prioritize their own happiness.
I am 43 by body age, but my soul feels stuck between 16 and 20 years. My body tells me to slow down and take it easy, but my soul is raring to go, faster than ever before. Contrary to what societal norms make you believe about career, marriage, duties, responsibilities, children, etc., my heart tells me nothing matters anymore, more than me, myself and my happiness. This is a change I see in myself since I turned 40.
Shifting Priorities: Placing “Me” at the Forefront
Things that bring me satisfaction and peace have suddenly found a place high up in my priority list. People and things that until three years ago featured on top of this list have somehow gotten pushed down. This has led to a wonderfully strange sense of liberty in me. I now want to live just the way I want to, and not how others expect me to. Don’t get me wrong – it’s not that I don’t want to pay heed to what others have to say, but enough.
Enough of checking even small things like what should be cooked for dinner tonight. In my 20s and 30s I seem to have forgotten myself – even the cuisine that I enjoyed was pushed to the back burner. If most family members relished a certain dish, I would just end up making that. Not stopping to check myself. I lost myself in the bargain. Today, if I crave a good Chinese meal, I go ahead and get that made. I plate my fried rice and chilli paneer and go right ahead and enjoy the meal.
Things that used to scare me earlier suddenly don’t matter! Especially the one thought that we all have – log kya kahenge? (What will people say!) I wear what I want, I travel where I want, enjoy solo coffee dates and movie outings and make choices that I am fearless about. I seem to have wasted so many precious years in just overthinking and wanting to please people. My 40s have given me the courage to truly be myself. I say unabashedly now – Love me or leave me!
I am enough!
In my younger days, I foolishly believed that life without a man beside me would be unthinkable. Today, as a wiser woman, I know better. What I needed all along was a companion, a partner who would stand by and be my biggest cheerleader. I did not need someone to provide for me.
I learnt the hard way that people who only add to my problems and negativity in life can be asked to leave. At such exits, I often find myself celebrating the good riddance. I wish I had achieved this sovereignty earlier. Life would have been less chaotic, critical and unhappy. Better late than never, they say! The 40s mark a phase of self-discovery and empowerment where confidence replaces self-doubt and self-preservation trumps everything else. It’s time to embrace freedom, prioritise joy and truly live life on my own terms.
